I hate you. Truly.
I hate what you've done to me.
I detest you, even though I know you are formless and faultless. You are simply experience, not some physical entity.
Unwelcome is the emotional and mental shroud you've wrapped around me.
I loathe that the negative in others is now all I ever expect to see.
So I get cross. My voice gets stern. My face turns stony.
And when it does, only fear and unease are reflected in the eyes staring back at me.
You've made me what I despised, what I promised I never would be.
Like her, heartless and nasty.
My own worst enemy.
I understand, it was out of necessity.
I had to get battered, I had to be bruised, to gain the strength to become who I needed to be.
How else would I have made it through and found myself flying free?
But still - you've taught me to expect the worst, and it fills me with melancholy.
Because they shine like gold, these young souls, and deserve the best from me.
