Don't Wait For It

Grief is a strange thing that knows no boundaries.

I was petting my cat as we sat in my over-sized armchair, and I allowed my mind to wander. As I recalled old memories of time spent with my grandma as if flipping through a photo album, tears were already slipping down my face before I realized I was crying. It would be comforting to believe that the first loss would be the hardest one to cope with, but I know that is not how it will work. Future loses are going to hurt just as bad, possibly even worse.

Grief abounds in today’s world. Grief for those who died from COVID-19. Grief for Black individuals who died due to police brutality. Grief is a lot like love, according to Shania Twain’s Ain’t No Particular Way: “there ain’t nowhere it won’t hide, there ain’t no speed it won’t drive”. Grief is emotion that stems from the loss of love. The feeling comes out of nowhere when you least expect it, and it can hit harder than Mjolnir. And the effect can be debilitating.

One of the musical numbers from the Broadway hit Hamilton is called Wait For It. This is the final chorus/outro: “Life doesn’t discriminate//between the sinner and the saints//it takes and it takes and it takes//and we keep living anyway// we rise and we fall and we break//we fall and we make our mistakes//and if there’s a reason I’m still alive//when so many have died//then I’m willin’ to, then I’m willin’ to//wait for it”.

When it comes to unnatural and unwarranted causes of death, as has been the case for many Black Americans, I am not willing to wait for it. I will fight against it. I do not wish this type of grief on anyone. In situations like this, it is important to look for a solution.